Friday, 29 July 2011
Sunday, 17 July 2011
When I attended a review meeting at the unit this week, I caught up with some of the lovely girls from my group.
One of them asked me what I was doing with my days and it got me thinking...
Because my weight has dropped a little, I am finding concentration very difficult. I am also spending vast amounts of time walking about, an anorexic 'behaviour' really.
Anyway, what follows is a list of some random information.
Currently reading: How The Light Gets In - A fantastic first novel by M.J Hyland who creates a complex and fascinating protagonist, a young exchange student whose troubled life leaves her desperate to both 'fit in' and 'escape' almost simultaneously.
A Purpose Driven Life (Rick Warren). My spiritual reading being almost zilch over the past year, I decided that the title of this popular book sounded like something the doctor might order. The two and a half chapters I've read so far, have confirmed this instinct.
Being True To Life (David Richo) - A random find on a rickety table outside a secondhand bookshop last weekend. The whole purpose of this book is to inspire the reader to write poetry. Flicking through, I was instantly captivated by the lines:
I'm too depressedTo write a poemYet here it is
Simple. Brilliant. Truth.
So far, I've only read the introduction.
Currently Listening To: The Avett Brothers - I And Love And You - Loving this album at the moment!
Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues -Quirky, choral, undoubtedly indebted to Simon and Garfunkel for inspired melodies.
Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More - What an Album!
Anything country, as per usual really.
Currently Watching: T.V series, The Apprentice (even though I hate Alan Sugar and the absolute unbridled arrogance of the contestants!)
Film - Mystic River, which I turned off halfway through cos my attention span is short right now.
Currently coveting: The Canon 430D SLR camera, although I have also looked at the Canon SX30 IS. I am passionate about photography and would love to take it up as a proper hobby. However, I am reluctant to 'rush' into anything at the moment and these cameras are very expensive.
Currently Enjoying Eating: Tesco Goulash Hearty Soup This is one very good low calorie meal if you halve it and add the odd new potato and salad! (Not that I should be doing low cal in a big way but...)
Currently Creating: Felt Flowers (er... yeah... I'm not sure either but hey... I have some time to spare between the hours of 4 and 6 most mornings).
My Recovery Project Scrapbook is still looking sparse (but not quite as sparse as my recovery itself - ho ho ho, tounge in cheek, hurts a bit to laug, etc etc...). I'm trying to complete a page about scales and numbers.
And there you have it. An assortment of trivia.
Anyone want to share in a similar fashion? Feel free to reply in comments.
Thursday, 7 July 2011
At around midday yesterday, unit staff announced the decision to reintroduce two much dreaded 'high energy' supplements into my meal plan.
The room around me blurred and whitened as my mind whirled into the shadow flecked vortex of spinning panic and dissociation.
Today I sit in relative calm.
The pain and the panic whirl around me but not within.
I discharged myself from the unit.
I'm not entirely sure how I will manage
failure is even less of an option that it was last week or the week before.
The work of rebuilding continues.
A lot tougher and a little lonelier, but it continues nonetheless.
At the moment I am shuffling through rubble, feeling little more than dazed as I survey the extent of the wreckage and try to keep breathing through the swirling fusion of chalky dust and stone.