Saturday, 25 July 2009

I can't quite remember...

My therapist freaked me out today.
She thinks my mind has blocked out all my memories.
I thought that only happened in cases of extreme trauma or abuse.

I had an idyllic childhood. I just don't remember it.
The anxiety though... I remember the terror of that. And the nights sitting on the step. Waiting. Waiting for the evil to come and kill my family; waiting for the screaming; waiting for my sisters to suffocate in their sleep; waiting for the shadows to become men, ready to destroy any safety I had ever known.

I remember always waiting for something terrible to happen and I lived in a crash landing position.
Of course, eventually it did, and my position didn't protect me from being smashed into a million tiny pieces.

No comments:

Post a Comment