Right.
Seeing as I am having great difficulty in communicating some of the ways in which my head is dealing with the treatment here in the unit, I figured that perhaps I could use some pictures.
Cop out?
Perhaps. But at least it's something; and something is better than nothing.
When I came into this treatment centre, my sister (the anorexic one) sent me this bracelet. If you look closely, you'll see that the simple piece of thread is tied to a charm depicting a little bird.
I haven't taken it off since I put it on. For me, the bird is representative of hope and freedom.
I think one of the hardest things in recovery is holding on to hope. Right now, despite my weight being up to 40.1 kilograms, I can't ever imagine being about to shake this illness off.
But I have to hope.
I need it in my spinal fluid. I literally need it to strengthen my backbone.
I need it to give me the strength to keep going.
I need it like the world needs a horizon. My world needs a horizon. I think it's a need that every human being has.
Trouble begins when the horizon isn't visible.
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