Kind people have suggested that sometimes it's important to just stay breathing and it reminded me of this song which was on the last album released by Lifehouse, a Christian band who, despite that fact, are very good. - Apologies offered for (not wholly unfair) prejudice.
Depression is like a magnet which locks onto you and drags everything 'living' out of you. Sometimes, barely breathing is as much as you can manage.
The Broken clock is a comfort It helps me sleep tonight Maybe it can stop tomorrow From steeling all my time And I am here still waiting Though I still have my doubts I am damaged at best Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart I'm barely breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain There is healing In your name I find meaning So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on) I'm barely holding on to you
Anything beyond work has felt very dark and frightening this week. I have been fighting to stay 'on my outside'.
I've been listening to Paul Brandt, a country favourite of mine. He has sung to me on every car journey I've made this week. Very kind of him.
I'm posting one of many songs where I appreciate the sentiment but am uncertain about the theology. Nevertheless, it has helped to keep something in me alive and above water.
The song talks about how love will find us if we can just 'hold on'. This presents all sorts of, 'but shouldn't we take more responsibility and do the seaching rather than being pathetic and waiting to be found', thoughts in my head... But for just this week, I have had to ignore the questions and the disagreement and allow it to comfort me a little.
I used to know this love he sings about and a part of me knows it probably exists regardless of me and how I feel, but there was a time once where I felt it rather than just knew in my head.
From the album 'Risk', Paul Brandt singing a cover of Nordeman's song Hold On.
And I am...
He will find you when you've called in all your favours He will meet you at the bridges highest ledge
So baby don't look down It's a long way The sun'll come around to a new day
So hold on Love will find you Hold on He's right behind you now Just turn around and love will find you
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