Friday, 6 January 2012

Dear Alanis...

... If you think finding a black fly in your Chardonnay is ironic...

... try suffering from Anorexia Nervosa, an illness which is, ultimately, all about having 'control', and waking up to find that the future of your teaching career, your chances of going back to your job, rely solely on the words of two men who barely know you.

Now THAT'S ironic.

(I never got the black fly thing anyway)


  1. HELLO LOVE - ya, me ither on the black fly thing, right? :-)

    And I truly understand how illness changes our lives - MS is so unpredictable. Each day I try to remember to celebrate my freedoms while honoring my limits. A delicate balance.
    Love Gail

  2. Hey WS....the most important thing ever is getting free...feeling free...knowing you have your own power back. My prayer in 2012 for you.

  3. Gail - Yes. I knew that you would understand. You manage your condition with such grace.
    I need to work hard to find positives.
    Thank you

    Sarah - Hi. I am moved at your words, as ever.
    Thank you so much for your last sentence. I can't tell you how much that means. x

  4. Having been commenting but still thinking of you. I wish I could take away your suffering.

  5. What I find ironic is that you actually CAN control whether or not you escape from your own hell . . . . . . through the task of feeding yourself properly . . . . . such a simple, basic human necessity, yet something in you fights what is usually a core part of our animalistic instincts to survive . . . to me, self destruction has very few competitors when it comes to what is truly ironic . . . . though the hope I still carry for you gives it a run for it's money . . . . . .

    with love . . . . .

  6. Still here WS - reading your struggle and willing you to find a way to recover.

    You are in my mind often.

    Much love

    Sky xx

  7. Wanda - I so often feel the same way when you write. It is mutual. Thank you for caring so much despite your own experiences in the depths.

    Campbell - Jus like I said to Wanda, it's so mutual. I wish there was something I could do. T hear your shouts loud and clear.

    Anon - Thank you for carrying hope for me. Thank you.
    And yes... Your words make sense. To destroy oneself IS a controlled thing somewhere, and yet, in a twisted paradox, somehow it is an out of control thing, or BECOMES that way.
    I don't know...
    Thanks for the hope though.
    It means a lot.

    Sky - Thank you.
    Thank you so much.

  8. mmmm . . . yes,a twisted paradox indeed, dear friend, and one that I, ironically, understand far too well! :)

    with love still, and always . . . . . .

    Mel (forgot to sign other reply) . . . . .