Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Coastal Wanderings

I have friends in Cornwall and, in need of a change of scene, I packed my little car and headed South in search of wintery sun, salt winds and the turquoise ocean.

I certainly wasn't disappointed by any of those.

Over the four days, I followed craggy cliff paths for miles along the coast.

I love the stinging freshness of the sea air, knotting my hair into sticky tangles as the on shore winds catch you from the side.
I love the flat, wind-skinned grasses and I breathe the salt fish air as it cuts across my face.

Far below golden, sun baked cliff faces, the black rocks gleam like angular seals and I am in love with this place. This moment. This air.

I loved picking my way through the lonely, heathered landscape; Watching swelling, white clouds roll across the blue, to become as one white sea over the horizon.


Humbling majesty.

And somewhere within, a wave builds and I surf it as it folds and crashes and races my heart

There is a bible quote that I always think of at times like these. I have no idea whether it is appropriate to use in this context, but for me, in the midst of the breathless wonder of such untamed, natural beauty, it is as though, "deep calls to deep".

Countless times I have been struck by the indescribable sense that some deep, unknown part of me is responding to a depth of purity in creation that is beyond the grasp of human intellect. Deep calling to deep.

At the risk of sounding as though I am spouting hippy crap, I wish to point out that I am not big into tree hugging.

No. What I am trying to describe is something spiritual. It's almost as if, a tiny piece of earth breathes in at exactly the same time as heaven, and for one fraction of a moment, the two merge and hover together, as one.

I could go on to write about the rest of my holiday, and how I came back early because I could no longer cope with the fear and lack of control over food.

I could write about the terror each time that night fell and the emetophobia sentenced me to moments of extreme panic.

But... I won't because I am afraid.

I'm so angry that I ruin every good thing that I have.


  1. Hi

    Oh how I love your pictures - breath taking. I felt every detail of what you experienced. I am glad you had the itme to commune so intimately with nature in what was truly a spiritual connection. :-)
    As far as you leaving early due to fears and panic -? I understand - but for this moment let's celebrate how long you stayed and all the wonder and peace you enjoyed not how early you left.
    Love to you

  2. I feel your trip...I find my strength in His nature. The pics are great....Sarah

  3. Deep indeed calls to deep, for me very much in the same way as for you it seems. There is a place I go, that I must go at least once each summer. At this place I can stand at the end of the earth and hear it calling just like you.
    I have felt strongly for awhile now that it is a feeling that points somehow to a memory. I don't know any other way to explain it.

    There is no risk in spouting hippy tree-hugging even if you were. If a hippy wants to hug a tree than that's what she should do.

    Nice pictures.

  4. Gail - I'm glad that you felt the experience. Nature does funny things to me. I find that natural beauty makes me soar in a way nothing else can.
    And yes, I am trying to focus on the positive.
    I've come back feeling sad, but there were some beauty filled moments to my holiday, and I do hold on to those. x

    Sarah - Yeah... It does give strength, and I guess that if I experience God profoundly anywhere, it is when I am stunned into silence by the beauty of nature.
    I know you have this too. I hear it in your runs through the woods. x

    Jss - I love the way that you describe the end of he earth calling.
    I love the fct that you understand how the deep calls to deep in that way... And, I understand the feeling that it all somehow points to a memory. I get that.
    I wonder if that sense comes from the fact that somehow it feels almost woven into the fabric of who you are... As though, when exposed to such a place / such beauty, it is a communion of a part of you that has always 'been' but is rarely felt in its fullness?
    I'd ove to hear more about that place if you ever felt like writing about it.

  5. Call within the deep - I so much can relate. I always describe it: "if you dont understand my silence, you wont understand my words". I truly believe it is woven in your deepest being, a spirituality, an ancient wisdom, I rely upon. Well, I have learned it lately. Dear One, it isnt important that you returned early, it is important that you went. That you were seeking spirituality, nature, your own inner deep self. It is great. because you have a tool. A tool which helped you just now and may help you in future again. Intuitive you knew what it needed to feel better for a while. That is the importance, to realise the tool, learn to use it to your best advantage and enjoy it to the fullest. It is not important that you didnt stay the whole time. it is important to recognize the tool given to you - maybe by your inner ancient wisdom, which we all have. Love to you

  6. It is spiritual and a gift. This past week as I was driving within the mountains looking at the pine trees and the winter brown wild grasses, I could sense the connectivity of the universe. This is where I get my strength. That you were able to go and have this experience is awesome. Love the photos.