Monday, 28 June 2010

EDs in adulthood

It's a strange thing to develop an eating disorder in your thirties without having had too much of an issue in the years prior to this.
I've waded through thousands of Google pages in an attempt to find articles about late onset anorexia and bulimia. I suppose because I was hoping that someone far more knowledgeable than me could offer me a piece of jigsaw that I don't have. I was hoping to find a few sentences that would make sense of the jumbled, misshapen blobs of bewildered guesses that occasionally float between my cornea and the mirror of anorexic truth.

Most of the articles documenting episodes of anorexia in later life are actually about the recurrence of an eating disorder which the patient has suffered from as a young person. Easier to understand a relapse than an illness that comes from out of the blue.

So, what then, is going on if there is no SERIOUS tendency towards this illness until a person is in their early thirties?
What is going on there?

I'm possibly as lost as anyone else when it comes to understanding this.
I have sketchy ideas (at best) that when pursued, completely fragment and disintegrate and at once become impossible and absurd.

I haven't been here too much of late. Not for lack of wanting to write; more for not being able to find the energy.

I have a lot to say but very few words to speak with.
Please forgive me if I am not responding as much as I should be.


  1. When you are suffering it is hard to find the words to write. I hope you can find some answers to ease your pain.

  2. I don't have enough words either. It's always been that way. You know what? I really don't like this day. At all. And I'm an idiot. Well, you know what they say - "misery loves company." Guess that's why I'm posting here. :(

    I'm starting to think that the stupidest thing people can do is to try to find answers to all the whys. It feels like the right thing to do, but it never turns out that way. Why does "why" matter if the situation stays the same regardless?

    Sorry, I'm rambling. I'll stop now. Take care of yourself, Wonderingsoul.

  3. I would like to respectfully disagree with the comment above by 'abroadermark'. An eating disorder must have a reason (or reasons) and I believe it is imperative to search for that reason. Otherwise we spend our lives trying to overcome by sheer force of will, which leaves us utterly depleted, or worse we sink further into the addiction. Neither is a healthy option.

    Perhaps WS in your own eating disorder you are looking for some sort of resolution to your sisters problem? I say that knowing full well that I have no experience with eating disorders. However I have much experience watching someone you love disintegrate before your eyes.

    Keep searching.

  4. Yeah, jss, you're right. It is a good thing to look at the whys. I was just spouting off stupid stuff because I was feeling bad about some of my own "un-figure-out-able" stuff. Don't listen to me Wonderingsoul. :D

  5. stopped by to say let you know I'm your corner...praying for you...Sarah