Saturday, 4 June 2011

...And The Dream Of Being Special

Every now and then, I read something that is so searingly honest that reading it feels like pressing on a fracture.

I recently came across one such piece of writing and thought I'd share an extract of it here.
...And The Dream Of Being Someone Special

And in the summer sunshine
You believed the things they told you
For it's part of being little
And the trust is right inside you
Like a ball of summer sunshine
In the middle of your body
And you think that it will never
Fade away
But as the days go flying
You are troubled by the shadows
In the hearts and hands and faces
Of the people you had trusted
When they promised you the sunshine
For you hear the winter now
In what they say
And the dream of being special floats away
And the whole damn thing looks so grey.

Adrian Plass
Clearing Away The Rubbish


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Dear K_
    (Excuse the familiarity; I know I am violating “the distance” that I claim for Bloggers)._
    I agree that both the words and soul behind the writing are both powerful as well as searing. If you’ll permit me, I perhaps drew a different message/meaning, and I’d like to share my thoughts.__Yes, when we are children we certainly build our castles, truths, and life-meaning from the words spoken by our elders. If we are lucky, those words created a hope, a beauty, and if we were truly blessed with loving and caring adults, “a ball of summer sunshine”. Perhaps it is the wondrous nature of childhood that we are able (with a bit of help and nurture) to soar and to aspire.__It is also the nature of our life “…as the days go flying (by)”, to question those dreams and sunshine built spires, and to even recognize the shadows (which, of course were always there). It is our reality that very few little girls grow up to be fairy princesses, and very few little boys become Spiderman.__
    I guess what I got out of the poem was that, if we were loved and lucky, we were allowed to see the wonder of possibility. Our new role, as winter surrounds us, is to look within and self-discover our own ball of summer sunshine.__
    My artistic friend, you are truly blessed with not just a glow of sun, but a radiance of pure, honest and achingly beautiful light within you, and my hope for you, as you engage in your present struggle, is that you take off the grey lens and catch a glimmer of it._
    Best wishes, Bob

  3. baby, who betrayed you? you are special, you always will be.

  4. I echo what annoymous said...

  5. Bob - Hi. If you hadn't been so darned nice and kind, I think I would be less willing to excuse your familiarity and the crossing of blogger boundaries! It struck me when reading your response just how much you seem to 'know' me and I admit to sometimes finding it a little bizarre when people you have never met seem to have such knowledge. I s'pose that's what you get if you decide to pour your heart out on the World Wide Web...
    Still, your persistence in reading the crap I write here and still, it would seem, your enthusiasm for the way I write, never ceases to amaze me.
    Thank you for your comment. I really loved your interpretation and agree that in many ways, we need to discover an inner strength in order to source a joy that remains despite a changing external environment.
    As for my 'pure, honest and achingly beautiful' inner light... Well... I know I'm a touch jaded, but you (my even more artistic friend) are clearly dazzled to the point of blindness!

    Anon and Sarah - I don't know how to answer that question. I suppose my response would be 'lots of people' and yet, 'nobody'.
    I have been blessed with a very loving, secure family and lots of good friends... I guess I just learned that life wasn't all it was made out to be and that I am nothing 'special'. And yes, I know the argument, 'we are ALL special', and we are... but. But but but but...
    But I feel like it's all a lie where I am concerned.
    "Well, if we're all special, then what's so special about you that you're NOT?" I hear you ask.
    Ironic laugh.

  6. Interestingly enough I felt wistful reading this piece. The wanting to be special as a child but alas was never meant to be. And dare I say the wanting to be special now. But if I stop to listen and hear what others say and under all those buts I realize I am, somewhere in there, special. And I truly believe you are special too.

  7. WS, you are wonderful and beautiful and no Fairytale Princess at all. I love the real person, the YOU. Reading this poem and the comments; the Box of Pandora comes into mind. Pandora freeing all the evil yet the hope still was at the bottom of the box. She hold everything needed in her hands. Much love

  8. Lost - Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad that you are able to hear the truth in what others say about you. It's also brave of you to acknowledge the desire to be special still. You ARE. X

    Paula- YOU are wonderful! It's interesting how you thought of Pandora's Box. I need to re-read the story to remind myself. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

    Faith - It's lovely to hear from you. Wondering how you are...

  9. Hey, WS. Here more regularly again. Had a tough time for a while, everyone else's stuff and my own stuff were too much. I think of you often. I got a job! A pretty good one, secretarial, sort of high level. And am being dropped from my graduate program. I can't concentrate enough to write, or am afraid to get that far into my thoughts. Life's still very up and down. It's hard for skinny girls in their thirties to find clothes for work, you know? But I finally have enough to get started. I guess I'm still pretty volatile, trying to get settled. A different route/process than you. Maybe headed to the same, good place?