Friday, 22 January 2010


If you could see beyond the iron,
the posion spikes, curling wires

the skin ripped red and white

gashed, gnashed, wept upon

in fury, in agony, in hatred

raw, numb nothing



You think your kindness

your prayer, your touch

would soothe

would stay

would answer.


If you saw beneath my skin

Your lip would curl in the corner

and then twist,
Your tongue screaming in surprise

expecting citrus sweetness

sucking, now curling,

rancid overflow of bitter scorn.

Your hand would scream

scaulded, scabbed, scarred

whipped away, withdrawn

revulsed, repulsed

spattered with acrid pus of greed,

of need.


I am putrid

How can truth exist

in such decay?

Stay away
I will infect those

who refuse to stay
on the outside.

I am afraid
that if kindness doesn't kill me,
Me will kill kindness.


  1. OK

    Prepared to be infected
    I refuse
    To stay

  2. I am not going anywhere either. I cannot be infected as I have had my immunization of truth vaccine. I thrive on the pain of rotten truth then turned to purpose.

    Love Gail

  3. I wish I could take away the pain...make it you the truth of who you really are...Truth. I had trusted for so long in lies..those lies almost killed me.

    Hang Strong ok...'inch by inch it's a cinch!' In your corner...always. Sarah

  4. If I saw beneath your skin I would see a human being like me. I can't take your hurt and pain from you but I can and I will hold you in my thoughts.

  5. I'm not afraid. I have found that the ugliness I saw inside me was not really mine at all. When you see that what you perceive as foul and rancid is really not yours - just something left at your doorstep that you've been carrying around all this time - you will know it is safe to love even you.

  6. what you wrote is how a lot of survivors feel we are gald you wrote it

  7. I just wanted to thank you for your comments.
    It has been hard to be here.

    Anon - Well...
    Hard to respond to that.

    Gail - That too...
    I keep being amazed by your lack of disgust.

    Sarah - Thanks for the inch by inch idea. It made a lot of sense when I read that.
    I know you have been here and much worse.
    Thanks for staying in my corner.

    lostinamaze... Ouch and... thanks.
    Thanks for understanding something.

    Shen - Your thought was intersting and very hard to take on. I'm not sure I will find that it's not mine but it made me think.

    Jumpinginpuddles -Thanks but I'm not a survivor of anything. On the contrary, I have no terrible traumas that I have bravely managed to live with. Part of the reason that it all makes so little sense....

    And... mystery chinese symbols...
    What does it mean?