Sunday, 18 April 2010

Dumbing Depression Down

Goodness knows that dignity is not an attribute one could ever ascribe to depression. However, in my experience, and it is just in my experience, the word 'depression' has been bandied around so liberally over the last decade, that it has lost any real gravitas that it may have had if perhaps, it had been reserved for the debilitating condition that it is, rather than using it to describe feeling a little bit low.

The increase in depression could well be a sign of our times:

Political and economic instability.
Threats of terrorism and nuclear attacks.
Less focus on family life.
An erosion of moral values.
Little emphasis on spirituality.
Normalising addictive behaviours.

None of it helps...

Equally though, the increase in depression could be the fact that we live in a society which, for whatever reason, has taken this word and diluted its meaning by applying it clumsily to anything which bears even the slightest resemblance to it.
Much like a person who has flu when their nose is running.
I suppose colds are dismissed, whereas flu is taken seriously.
Most people tend to want to be taken seriously.

I'm not having a rant. It sounds like it, I know.
In fact, I don't give a monkeys about whether or not people overuse or misuse the word. I would never, ever deny someone's need to be taken seriously.
I suppose that I'm just making the rather muddy point, that when the thief of depression comes and steals an entire part of your mind, your reasoning, your spirit and a huge part of your temporal and spatial awareness... it's different from 'getting out of the wrong side of the bed'.

This post isn't really what I wanted to write about at all.

I wanted to write about some of the things in my head and yet, to even attempt to go near them makes my whole body ache.

I started taking duloxetine (Cymbalta) two days ago, having resorted to my GP in desperation.
It would seem that eight year reign of Citalopram has left me feeling bankrupt and hopeless.
I suppose it's withdrawal but I am sore all over and unable to stay awake. That being said, I am also unable to stay asleep.

Moan, moan, moan. I know.

I still haven't written what I'd like to.
All my moaning, all my theorising, all my despair... They're all just bricks around floating fragments and words that I can't pick up.


  1. Hi love-

    Excellent post. You are SO right about the many uses and appllications of the word depression - and like all things, well most things, there are degrees - a range if you will from minor to major.

    I also applaud your determination to be on a medication that works for you. So many give up. You are a fighter and a survivor.

    Love Gail

  2. Hugs
    I agree with Gail, it is an excellent post about the depression in all its layers and ugliness. Even when I use ugliness their is some beuaty in depression too. It is the sign that our soul needs help, the seeking of soothing, of overcoming.
    I do not see this as a rant, rather as a stonger voice of you and I am grateful that you adjusted medication. it will take some days. Sending you my strength and energy. Paula

  3. You may not have written what you would have liked to but I liked what you have written. I hope the withdrawal doesn't last long. Thinking of you...

  4. Gail - Thanks.
    I've been offered a change in meds a number of times but I've always cared too much about the side effects and the disturbances it causes to my routine... Guess this time I was ready to try anything.
    Thanks for being here.

    Paula - Your point about depression was really interesting. Thank you.
    I hav to say that if there is some beauty to it, I feel it is a beauty I could well do without!
    Thank you for dropping by and for the support you offer.
    You are in my thoughts too

    lostinamaze - I liked the twist you put on my words... You are very kind.
    I too am hoping that the wthdrawal doesn't last too long... It's certainly trying its best to mess around with me.
    Thank you for reading. I hope you are okay too

  5. Passing by and wondering how you are doing with the withdrawl and changed meds. Yaeh, for long I refused to see that the depression actually was the sign of my soul that I need help, I overlooked, refused to see for far to long. ONly recently I accepted that without this depression I still would fera a lot more situation as I do now. Was a long way to get there and so very worthwhile. Hugs across the pond

  6. depression is pretty prevasive these days...and so hard to get out from under...but for me...I try to remember everything will pass and the son will shine again....if all else fails...I sleep or hide in the dark... :)