Friday, 9 October 2009

This Week...

AGAIN, I have so much to say and yet so few words.
This is becoming something of a norm for me.

Last few therapy sessions have been reasonably gentle in response to a terrible session last Friday in which I actually thought my insides were going to cave in and I would implode.

Wednesday left me reeling after I had a really bad panic attack in the hairdressers and had to leave with soaking wet hair.

This weekend, I hope, will afford me a little time to put myself back together a little and to collect my thoughts and maybe try and get some down.

I'm finding it hard to write for a number of reasons. Mainly a reluctance that is borne out of fear but also just out of a general inabiltiy to express.


  1. You are trying and that's what is important. I so sorry about your panic attack. I hoping you find some rest. ((((safe hugs)))))

  2. HI-

    feels like something is brewing...simmering. I remember that when I was about to emote or remember or surrender I felt so afraid and so silenced and like I was in cement. I remember panic attacks too. I have some info on those if you like - let me know. ok?
    Love and hope

  3. Thanks Wanda. Yes. I AM trying... It fees like wading through thick mud... but I am trying.

    Gail - It ofrten feels like something is simmering. What does emote mean?
    Thanks for the offer of stuff on panic attacks. I honestly have to say that I think I've read just about all this is on those over the years. Nothing has really helped and because my panic attacks are based around fairly extreme nausea, all the breathing advice that I have read has little effect.
    My PAs are to do with a very specifi phobia I have (which I haven't written about here but... will when I can). It's kind of complicated.
    If the info you have is any different to the normal 'symptoms, how to reognise them, explanation of fight/flight, how anxiety is actaully very useful and breathing' then please let me know! Otherwise, thank you so much for your kindness (and I really don't want you to think I'm not grateful because I always am) but I could probably write a book advising people about Panic Attacks. Sadly, the book would not be able to give the 'answer' but then, nor does any otherbook I've ever read!! x

  4. HI AGAIN -

    Emote means to release emotions, usually intensely.
    ANd about the PA's. I will just mention one other physiological fact other than the breathing - which, as you know, is about keping your blood oxygenated because when it isn't the anxiety is stronger. But anyway - about blood sugars. If you keep your blood sugars relatively even by having some type of complex carbohydrate and protein snack in between meals so that every 2 hours you are evening your blood sugars it certainly wont eliminate anxiety but it lessens the impact of it. An example of what is a good snack is those peanut butter crackers that come 6 in a pack, and you only need 2 or three to do the trick, along with a couple ounces of juice and your blood sugars are even again. It is something you can do to lessen the intensity of a PA. And about the breathing - as much as you already know and clearly have tried try and remember that it is about oxygenating your blood which will lessen the physiological impact of a PA - that combined with keeping your blood sugars even can reduce the intensity. And, if, in your mind you believe that you do have some power and control over the PA's, well, you get the gist, I am sure. :-)
    Love and hope for us all